Butter, possibly the best single creation/invention/divine gift ever to grace humanity. Ever!

That seems like an obvious truth to anyone with a functioning brain, but to millions of easily-manipulated sheep, all it takes to send them galloping in the direction of the latest stupid food fads are a few of the latest “scientific” findings. Especially if they promise unrealistic overnight results that feed people’s insatiable sense of vain insecurity.

I’m old enough to remember when the big business and government-funded health “professionals” were telling every gullible fool they could lie to that butter was unhealthy, and a better alternative was margarine.

What the fuck were they talking about?

This unforgivable mission of evil was perpetrated during the nineties, and, although I was still a young, naive whippersnapper, that heinous campaign didn’t fool me for a second. My attitude at the time was, “I’d rather die with butter than live with margarine. The rest of you idiots can go ahead and eat that oily, plastic shit if you want. More butter for me”.

Everything’s Better With Butter
Eff the food fads, I'll take the french toast, with jam and butter

Now, many years later, it’s fully accepted that butter is great and margarine is crap. One point for me, and all of France, zero points for everyone else.

Remember the “egg-white” craze? “I’ll have an egg-white and spinach salad please, hold the croutons, and no cheese either”. Egg yolks apparently had unhealthy trans-fats and cholesterol. Hmmm, people have been eating eggs since there have been people. And eggs. How then, does one of the purest forms of protein (the human digestive tract can absorb and utilize near one-hundred percent of the protein in an egg) become so unhealthy after a few biased years of “research”? Because the latest food fads say so?

Now we know that the yolk contains most of the nutrients found in an egg, and boasts an impressive array of health benefits: lower blood pressure; boosted immune system; lower risk of gastrointestinal disease; and benefits to vision. Quite a nutritional boon from such a tiny little bit of golden deliciousness. Well, I never listened to that bullshit anti-egg-yolk fad either. Chalk up another point for me.

Eggs are gooood, M’kayyy Kids!

Shall we move on to whole milk?

Jesus! Do we have to?

Starting in the sixties, with the advent of female fashion models that looked like anorexic little boys, the terror of being “fat” led to a huge number of horribly unhealthy lifestyle practices, especially for women. How the Western world sees women (especially if they’re not skinny), and how they deal with themselves and each other is horribly dysfunctional, which is an utter mystery to me. I think many big women are incredibly sexy. And by “big” I mean anything from not skinny (normal) to actually fat. Fat not being a word I necessarily consider an insult. Let’s kill that silly association.

That’s a topic for numerous other posts, though, which I intend to write, so stay tuned.

This brutally unhealthy obsession with despising all things “fat” was in full swing during the eighties and nineties, when the fitness craze was sweeping the globe. Personally, I do believe in fitness (maybe not to the extent that Daniel Lugo does), as pertains to exercise and staying active (I’ve been a gym rat for most of my life), but stressing out about avoiding anything containing fat isn’t a healthy part of a wholesome fitness plan. Neither is adhering to the subjective “science” of many food fads.

So, the idea that milk has fat in it, therefore it’s bad, is idiotic. Fat-free milk (white water with a few vitamins) was the solution to the problem. Soy milk was an even better option, especially for those half-men looking to go full beta. Not for me, I’ll take the whole milk, thank you. Another stress-free point for my supposedly struggling heart.

Meat? It’s bad too. Don’t eat meat, we should all be vegetarians.

Nope! we shouldn’t.

So many of these “health” fads have been invented simply because the logistics of supplying certain foods indicated that, if the majority of people continued to eat things like milk and meat, there were definitely going to be shortages. Shortages make populations unhappy, and dissatisfied people behave in unsavoury ways, becoming unmanageable and dangerous. Take, for example, revolutionary France.

While the French aristocrats were gorging themselves on all sorts of exotic decadence, and the peasants had no bread, Marie Antoinette’s solution was for the peasants to eat cake instead (Brioche actually, but whatever). She eventually had her head cut off. By the peasants. Zero points for Marie.

Now back to meat.

Sure, if all you eat is meat (a steak every day, for instance), that eventually does become unhealthy. Excess in all forms is unhealthy, but we’ve been eating meat for as long as we’ve been eating, which has been forever. Look at our teeth.

I’m an Animal Lover, and I’m also an Animal Lover.

If you balance your diet and source meat from responsibly raised animals, it has undeniable, life-sustaining benefits. And it’s delicious. Just be sure to avoid meat from massive, evil meat factories where the animals are tortured from day one, pumped full of hormones, and fed sheep brains and fear. Cancer-riddled concentration-camp cows are not a healthy source of nutrition. Neither are chickens raised in tiny prison cells. Unhealthy, stressed-out animals can’t possibly provide positively-charged caloric energy. Do your research and source healthy meat.

Meat is good. More points for me and my instinctive food fads.

I’ve now stopped paying any attention to any food fads whatsoever, even if it’s to laugh at the ridiculousness of them. I make it a point to ignore such stupidity. Whatever “they’re” telling you this week is probably wrong. Paleo diet? I don’t even know what that is. Carnivore diet? Really? That’s stupid. Can one of you carnivores save me a good seat in hell please? You’ll probably be arriving long before I do.

How could you think that such a thing is a good idea? Because someone’s engineered your bias to believe such silliness, that’s how.

How about Atkins?

Atkins? Akron Ohio? Batman? Gotham City’s Arkham Asylum? What? Yes, I’m confused too. It worked for Jared from Subway, so you should commit your entire well-being to the same program. Don’t do any independent research or follow your own instincts, just commit to stupid food fads.

So, before ordering that low-fat soy latte to go with your egg-white omelette (you little bitch), why not take your head out of your ass and consider why you think any of your eating choices are intelligent ones. If you just follow the herd, those decisions probably make no sense. But your friends will think you’re special.

Hashtag “douche-waffle”! Fat-free douche-waffle, hold the butter and syrup.

You can keep your food fads, I’ll eat what I want!
Yummy Dessert in Porto

I suppose that as long as soulless corporations exist to sell as much food to stupid people as possible, there will always be food fads. Whatever they can sell the most of is the healthiest option this week.

The health industry provides opportunities for perpetrating the biggest scams on earth, through food, medical “care”, and enhancements of all sorts. Everyone needs to eat and maintain life, health and attractiveness. It’s essential for the purposes of longevity and procreation. No exceptions. But if you think you can hack the system, just go ahead and try being a breatharian. In a few weeks, when death is staring you in the face, you’ll eat whatever those scurvy-ravaged teeth can still sink into.

Use your head, think for yourself, and, if they’re not completely dead, listen to your instincts. Your body will tell you what it needs and what it doesn’t. Do your own research and take control of your health, because there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to diet. And, remember, almost everybody out there that’s trumpeting the latest, greatest findings about health has no clue what they’re talking about. They’ve bought into the program because it was cleverly marketed and they’re not smart enough to realize that, and now they want to sell it to you.

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